I'm disheartened especially for two main reasons now:
1.
I'm missing out in too many activities that it's srsly making me feel left out and very very demoralized and it's simply depressing. I cannot express how much I feel like crying. I'm sorry but I don't want to seem like a brat just because I can't walk for a few months whilst worse things are going on wrong in this world. It's just that all this is new to me, I've never pictured myself, and I don't think anyone else has either, to be the weakling. The one who needs support. The one who isn't able. I honestly, honestly, feel extremely frustrated at myself.
Because I. I did this to myself. I caused this.
I overworked myself. I overcommitted.
That's all I ever seemed to be good at.
Overcommit.
'cause I never actually know if I'm good at something.
I know, there will always be someone better than you, and you
can never really be THE BEST.
But I can try. But there lies the problem somehow.
I go too far to whatever limits there are and caused myself this injury.
Now, I've let so many people down.
Friendly matches? GONE.
Not able to represent my school and my batch/club for it.
People who had high hopes of me and had trained me so hard,
now I've come to let them down.
Due to a stupid, careless action.
I don't know how I'm going to face my classmates/friends now.
Looking like this.
Hopping/stumbling.
Looking pathetic.
Why? 'cause I FEEL pathetic. And it's horrible.
The worst is to be unable to do something you love doing.
Although it's only going to be a couple of weeks,
just one day feels never ending.
I, I don't know how to feel anymore.
2.
The people who I wished/hoped/trusted would be here for me,
aren't.
I don't know where they've gone to/hiding at, but
I hope that they know that I am completely vulnerable at this
point in time, and I definitely appreciate if they showed the least bit of
concern for me. 'cause it's like a stab in the heart to know feel
like they don't care at all.
All I need is support right now. Tonnes.
I've never really put myself in a spot like this, but there's a first
time for everything.
And I thank my fellow friends, whom I didn't expect at all, to have came
and paid me visits for the past two days after hearing about the incident.
Most surprising was that for some of them, I didn't even bring the news
to them personally because I didn't think that they would have thought it
mattered to them as much as to the people whom I told to personally.
Maybe I was wrong.
I don't know where I stand anywhere anymore.