outside, I'm masquerading
inside, my hope is fading

Things have been rough between us lately.

So we figured that
we have to go our separate ways for now.
For how long, we don't know.
But I have faith that if our love is strong enough
we'll come back to one another
and things will be better than it was before.

It hurts me to take this step
because I am honestly afraid of drifting apart
and eventually losing you.
But it would kill me if I stayed and did nothing to save what we had.

My feelings haven't changed, too, but this is what we have to do.
What we must do
for now, I hope, at least.


With a heavy but still very hopeful heart, I say
I love you, my dear. :')

Have you lost your way
living in the shadows of the messes that you've made

So time for me to grow up. For us. Because I love you so much, we should do this, the sooner, the better.

Messed up again,
and again, and again. Strike two.

Why do I keep doing this?
Subconsciously but still, the damage is done.
I can't take those things back no matter how much I try.
Lost the trust I tried so hard to build, ruined the rapport between friends.
Lost the love from the team.
That is the last thing I ever want.
But I do things, that I'm too stupid and selfish to realize
that even when doing them, I don't think about it.
Think that something is wrong or that I'm making the wrong move.

I guess this is the year that I'm making the bad moves, the mistake and faults are all on me. I lose my touch, and because of my paranoia and disability to differenciate personal from professional, I crumble.
I let people's words get to me, I lose control of my emotions.
Have never been this weak before, I....I just don't know.

But what I do know is that I put my pride aside for the people I treasure, for the people that I love. And that I would never hurt them on purpose. I love you guys like a second family, another place that I was able to comfortably call home. Somewhere along the line, I misread some things and thought that I lost the love I yearned for, thus, grew selfish and only thought about myself.

But it isn't about me. Has never been.
I tell myself that I do things for the team, but at the back of my mine, it has always been personal. Isn't that the right thing to do to push yourself to the extreme?
Perhaps I was wrong.
Perhaps I've had the wrong mindset all along.
Everything changed when I took comments to heart and let my emotions take its toll over me.
I over-thought and this....caused all this.

I'm sorry, team.
I love you so much, it hurts me to know that I put you through all this embarrassment.
I would think that shying myself from all this would solve the problem,
would cause less hurt and save our faces, but I don't think that that's the way to go.
I pay the price for my actions, I need to rebuild the things that I've destroyed.
They were never deliberate to cause harm, but what's done is done, and I need to make things right.
There is no 'restart' button here in life, so let me have another chance to prove myself worthy.
I still love you, more than ever.
Always.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
So much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

Cos even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
the tools and gifts we've got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
for us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not and who I am

So easy is our life
What's mine is yours and yours mine
Hardly do we ever find
We'd rather be kind

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get dark
I'm healing this broken heart
And I know I'm worthy

I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, I am love
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worthy

No I won't give up on us
God knows I've had enough
We got a lot to learn
And we're, and we're worthy

Labels: I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

I haven't been myself lately
blowing off friends and meetings,
not being able to focus at work,
totally thrown off my game.
I wish that what's going through my mind could be projected onto a screen for you to see, that way it's so much easier.
But it can't, and I don't know how to tell you the things I need to.

Sorry that I'm such a screw up, but I don't know how to gamble.
I didn't know that my feelings were all on the table, and I was supposed to be prepared to lose them all.

Mike Tompkins, your covers never fail to make me smile, and speaking of smiles, looking at yours your eyes and something about those brows ... any day, everyday :)

Had a great time with colleagues @ Suria Fiesta today! Great event, despite the bad sunburn and bruises from the horrible crowd that were pushing and shoving to see the celebs, it was all good :)

3 weeks down, less than 6 months to go! So many things to learn, absorb absorb, BE A SPONGE :¤ I really dislike how people assume just because I'm interning here, automatically puts me under Vasantham. Or see me on TV for that matter. Earth to those who don't know I'm interning as a producer under creative services Suria, not a friggin actor.